Looking
by kira66
Summary: When Jack gets a disturbing letter in the mail he decides that it's time to put things right. So with Zoe's help he sets out on a journey to reunite his family.
1. Chapter 1

Jack Carter, Sheriff of Eureka, sat down on the couch with a thump. The recently opened letter hanging limply from his fingers. In that same position is where Zoe found her father four hours later when she returned from school.

"Dad?" Zoe called as she entered the smart house. "You here? Jo said she's been trying to call and no one is answering." She walked further into the house. "Dad?" She spotted her pale father staring, blankly, at one of the living room walls. "What's wrong?" She moved closer. "Dad?" She dropped onto the couch beside him.

"I…." Jack licked dry lips and turned bloodshot, red rimmed, eyes to his daughter. "I think I'm gonna be sick!" He dropped the letter onto the floor and rushed to the bathroom where he proceeded to lose what little breakfast he had managed to eat before receiving the devastating letter.

Zoe eyed the piece of paper warily before bending and picking it up. It took her a few short moments to understand what had her father so upset. She looked up when she heard her father reenter the living room. "Aunt Joyce died?" She asked, quietly, as tears filled her eyes. It might have been many years since she saw her fathers oldest sibling but Joyce had always been kind to her as a child and that wasn't something she'd ever forget. "I….I don't understand." She passed the letter back to her father when he sat back down beside her. "Why weren't we informed sooner?"

Jack wrapped his arms around his daughter and held her tightly. "Apparently all records were lost when Sunnydale collapsed. It took them this long to identify…." He trailed off as an ache filled his very soul. "There is a lake where the city once stood and it took them this long to identify the remains that floated to the surface." Unable to look at the letter anymore he tossed it onto the coffee table. "I just thought…." He had no words to express what he was feeling and thinking.

"The letter didn't say anything about Buffy and Dawn." Zoe said quietly from against her fathers side. "If Sunnydale is now a lake where is Buffy and Dawn?" A hint of hysterics was creeping into her voice. "Where are they dad?" She pushed away from him and moved across the room, arms wrapped around her midsection. "Why haven't we heard from them?" Tears were running down her checks, unchecked.

"I don't know sweetie. Last time I spoke to Joyce they had just moved to Sunnydale. I just figured Buffy and Dawn were too busy adjusting to a new city and school to call or write." Jack fell silent his eyes once again back on the letter. "I didn't even know she was sick…." He said more to himself than Zoe.

Zoe sniffled and used the sleeves of her sweatshirt to wipe her eyes. "Then we need to find them!" She declared as she rushed up the stairs to her room then back down carrying her laptop. Retaking her seat beside her father once again, she booted up the computer and began to plow through the internet looking for any signs of her family.

Jack leaned forward so he could see the screen as well. "Zoe you gotta be prepared that maybe they don't want to be found by me or anyone else for that matter. That maybe they cut off contact for a reason?"

"No." Zoe would not accept that. They might have had their problems in the past but all families had problems. And she had always been close to the two older girls. "We're all the family they have left in this world. I can't accept that they wouldn't want us, _US_, to find them!" She said passionately.

"Zoe…." Jack was at a loss as to what to say to make his daughter understand. There was so much that she didn't know. So much history that was buried. "I want you to listen and don't interrupt until I'm finished." He took and deep breath and plunged head first into his story. "By the time Joyce and Hank decided to divorce Buffy had been acting out for months. When she burned down the gym of her high school Joyce called me to come talk to both of them. She thought maybe Buffy was acting out because…." He shook his head. How could he explain this his daughter so that she understood? "When I asked Joyce to look after them I had all intentions of going back for them once I got my head on right but I met your mother and I guess they weren't my top priority anymore. You gotta understand, Zoe, that your mother was the first woman I had feelings for after Eliza died. I fell in love with Abby after I promised myself I'd never love again. Then when she told me that she was pregnant….I was thrilled. I was getting a second chance!" He ran a hand through his short hair. "Joyce was so disappointed in me when I told everything that had transpired while I was away _finding_ myself. She yelled at me and said that I had abandoned the girls and that I didn't deserve them. She convinced me that letting her and Hank adopt them was in their best interest. And since I was starting a new family I readily agreed. The moment I signed the papers she cut me out of their lives. Hank became daddy and I became estranged Uncle Jack that sent birthday and Christmas presents through the mail. Truth was that the first time you met them was the first time I had seen them in ten years. And I was shocked that Joyce even allowed it but apparently Hank was a total jerk when he was drunk and had let it slip once or twice that they weren't their biological children; of course when he sobered up he'd deny ever saying such things. It surprised me how easily they accepted you especially Buffy but that only proved Joyce right when she said they weren't mine and never would be. So when Buffy started acting out Joyce decided that I should come talk to them, tell them about Eliza, because maybe, just maybe, Buffy still had memories of her daddy leaving and never coming back. Well I went there, told your mother I had a conference out of state, and told them all about their biological mother and the circumstances surrounding her death and them being placed into Joyce's care, both listened, didn't say a word until I was finished, in which time Buffy promptly kicked me and out with instructions to never return. I know they stayed in contact with you, Zo, but maybe they decided this was their chance to disappear and start over?" By the time he finished Zoe was staring at him with wide eyes. "Say something."

Zoe had listened to her fathers story with half an ear as she searched the net for her older siblings. But by the time he finished she was focused on him, eyes wide and unbelieving at the tale she had just heard. "I can't believe you did that!" She cried in outrage on her sisters' behalf. "You just left them?!" She shook her head. "I'll be mad at you later because I found them." She spun the laptop towards him. "And _they're _looking for _us."_


	2. Chapter 2

"Looking for us? How can you tell?" Jack asked as he peered closely at the computer as if it was going to suddenly answer all of his questions.

"Remember the breech of security Global had a couple weeks ago?" Zoe motioned towards the screen. "According to this a virus was released just before the egg heads managed to shut it down. I should be able to…." She trailed off as she turned the computer back towards her and began typing furiously.

Jack watched his daughter in silence afraid to ask what exactly it was she was doing and how she was able to detect a virus that the brains at Global had missed? As she worked he zoned out lost in his memories.

_Sixteen year old Jack Carter grinned as he watched his, then fifteen year old, girlfriend Eliza cross the parking lot heading straight for him. "How was class?" He asked as he leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek._

"_If you hadn't ditched you'd already know the answer to that." Eliza Donaldson told him with a frown. "Don't you care about getting into a good college?" She questioned as she slid into the passenger side of his car. _

"_I got a year before I have to think about that stuff Eliza." Jack told her as he climbed into the drivers side and started the engine. "Besides I don't know if I want to go to college. My family has been in law enforcement for generations, I'm expected to follow in my fathers and grandfathers footsteps." He told her as he drove down the highway heading for his house since his parents were out of town for the week visiting his fathers sick sister._

_Eliza's frown deepened. The Carters were good people but they expected a lot from their only son. Sometimes she thought that's why he got into so much trouble. "What about your sisters?"_

_Jack glanced at her then back to the road. "What about my sisters?" He asked in confusion. _

"_Does your father expect them to follow in his footsteps as well?" Eliza asked as she shifted in her seat to try and get comfortable._

"_Does he expect Joyce and Lexi to join the police force?" Jack looked at her as if she lost her mind. "Of course he doesn't." He looked back to the road. "How many woman cops do you see out there?" He motioned towards the passing landscape with his head then chuckled. "I think you've been reading too many of your science fiction novels." _

_Eliza huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well women could be cops if they wanted to." She argued but knew it wasn't going to happen in their small town; at least not in her lifetime. "I just want you to consider the possibility of college, okay?" _

_Jack found himself nodding. It was hard to say no to Eliza and he had yet to try. "Alright, I'll think about it." He parked in front of his house and got out, rushing around to open her car door._

"_Such a gentleman." Eliza teased as she climbed out of the car and followed him into the unlocked house. For a family full of policemen they sure didn't believe in locking their doors. But then again there hadn't been a major crime in their town in years. "Your parents aren't coming back til Saturday right?" She asked once they were inside and comfortably draped across each other on the couch._

"_No, Aunt Joy is really sick and mom is helping with the kids." Jack told her as he ran a hand through her honey blonde hair. He didn't say what his dad was doing cause he really didn't know. Maybe he was hunting down Aunt Joy's good for nothing cheating husband that ran out on her and the kids last year?_

_Eliza was silent for the moment trying to broach the subject that had been weighing on her mind for the last week. "How about your sisters? They gonna be home anytime soon?" She didn't want interrupted._

_Jack was beginning to wonder why Eliza was playing twenty questions. "Joyce has midterms next week so she's staying on campus with a friend, Hank something or other, to study and Lexi is staying at a friends until mom and dad get home. Why? What's going on?"_

"_Nothing is going on, I was just curious." Eliza groaned in her head for chickening out but this was hard! After a few moments of silence she took a deep breath and took his hand from her hair, holding it tightly. "You remember Davis' party?" She asked quietly._

"_Of course I do." Jack furrowed his eyebrows. "I….I thought you said you didn't have any regrets?" It was his turn to be nervous. What if she was dumping him?!_

_Eliza smiled and patted his hand that was now resting on her stomach. "I don't have any regrets, Jack. I love you and always will."_

_Jack frowned. "I don't understand." He was totally and completely lost. _

"_We didn't use protection that night, remember?" Eliza was giving him every chance to put two and two together before actually coming out and telling him._

"_I didn't have any and you said it was okay…." Jack sat up a little so he could see her face clearly. "Are you…." He couldn't even say it. It was too much. They were too young. His parents were going to kill him. And her father….yes he was a dead man. "You're pregnant." It was a statement rather than a question._

_Eliza nodded her head slightly. "Exactly two months according to my doctor." She looked down at his hand. "You know my life hasn't been all that good since my mom bailed and I've decided that I want to do right by my baby. I don't want to turn out like her so….I'm keeping it." She paused then hurried on. "If you don't want to be apart of our lives then that's fine. I know we're both young and you have your whole life ahead of you. I will totally understand if you wanna bail." _

_Jack was quiet for a while as he left the news sink in. God a baby? No, not just a baby. Their baby. A perfect combination of them. Living, breathing proof of their love. "Marry me!" He blurted out._

"_Are you high? Did you ditch school to smoke with Jared again?" Eliza asked, doubtful of his lucidity._

"_No, I'm not high!" Jack sputtered in indignation. "I'm asking because I love you." He told her, sincerely. "Neither of our lives are ideal but I would NEVER ask you to get rid of it. It's a living being not some…some….something you'd just throw away!" He paused. "But you gotta give me some time, babe, I gotta get used to the idea." He inched his fingers under the bottom of her shirt and rested them on her abdomen. "Now could you please answer my question before I start questioning if I'm actually the father?" His voice was light and teasing and Eliza knew it if the pillow swung, playfully, at his head was any indication. _

_A week later Jack finally mustered the courage to tell his parents the good news. They took it better than expected; his mother, in tears, locked herself in the bathroom and his father disappeared into his workshop. He saw neither one of his parent for days. It took Eliza showing up on their doorstep, sporting a black eye care of her older brother Steven, to force the Carters to actually sit down and talk to their son and his pregnant girlfriend. They were disappointed in him but accepted the situation a little better once they discovered the engagement; at least he was doing the right thing which was more than most sixteen year old boys would do. _

_Six months later they were married in a small church with just his parents and sisters in attendance. And a week later and a month premature they welcomed little Buffy, named for Eliza's maternal grandmother, Anne Carter into the world. Little did they know that in a few short years their perfect little family would be shattered beyond repair._

Zoe waved her hand in front of her fathers face. "Dad?" She tried again for the millionth time. "Dad!" She nudged him.

"What…." Jack blinked as the last traces of the memories faded away. "Sorry kiddo." He gave her a weak smile. "So what did you find?"

"Just what I said; a virus. But it's not a malicious virus. It was designed to crawl through the Global mainframe until it found reference to a Jack and Zoe Carter." Zoe motioned towards the computer. "Once it found what it was looking for it was programmed to destroy itself after sending the data to whoever sent it."

Jack stared at the numbers and letters on the screen. "Whoever sent it? I thought….never mind. Where does your sisters come in?" He inquired.

Zoe patted her father on the knee. "I'm guessing they had a friend send it cause I can't picture either one of them as the computer geek type. As for how I know it was Buffy and Dawn? When the virus infected my computer it found what it was looking for and a message popped up." She pulled up a minimized window and read the contents. "_Bene qui latuit bene vixit_."

"Wow, I actually know what that translates to. _He lives best who lives hidden_." Jack looked at his youngest daughter. "You remember Grandpa Carters story?" He asked in surprise.

"How could I forget? He told it every time we saw him. He told it to Buffy and Dawn as well?" Zoe questioned wanting to know more about her estranged sisters.

Jack furrowed his brows as he tried to remember if his father ever told the infamous story of the Priest and hostages to Buffy and Dawn. He frowned when he came up blank. "Buffy was five when everything happened and Dawnie….Dawnie almost died with her mother. They managed to save her through a c-section but Eliza was too badly…." He shook his head not wanting to remember what should have been one of the happiest days of his life but turned out to be the worst day. "Joyce must have visited dad, she was closer than him than Lexi so they could have heard the story then. Does it say anything else?"

Zoe nodded. "It gave a date and time." She closed the lid of her laptop. "Lake Sunnydale in two days. Which also happens to be the six year anniversary of the towns collapse." She looked at him. "Are we going to go?"

"Yes." Jack didn't even have to think about it. "I think it's time I pay my respects to the woman that raised my girls when I couldn't or should I say wouldn't?" He looked at Zoe. "Go get ready."

"Aye aye!" Zoe jumped to her feet and with her laptop tucked under her arm rushed up the stairs to her room.

Jack was left alone with his memories once again but there'd be time for them later. Right now he had to get ready for a long overdue trip.

* * *

**Authors Notes**

So what did you think? Did you like the little flash back moment? I had to make Jack a young father in order to make the story believable. So I moved his birthday to 1965 which makes him older than he looks. So thoughts? Comments? Flames? All are welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to Lake Sunnydale was silent. Jack couldn't help but think he wouldn't have a job or a girlfriend when he returned; he was less than friendly with Tess after she turned down his request for leave citing the fact that he didn't write down a reason for the leave. And Zoe was just nervous about seeing her sisters again after so long.

"Well this is it." Jack stated as he pulled up behind another car that was parked alongside the road. It looked like what had been the main road into Sunnydale had been blocked off awhile ago and all that remained was a path cut though tall weeds. "Come on, it's almost time." He climbed out of his jeep and started down the path once Zoe joined him. Soon the sound of talking and the moving of water could be heard and he froze. His thoughts turned towards his oldest sister and guilt swelled up inside of him. He'd never see her again. Never.

Zoe nudged her father to try and get him moving again and it worked. "We all make mistakes, I'm sure Aunt Joyce knew that." She spoke to him quietly as she fell into step beside him; the path was just wide enough for two people to walk side by side. With moments they found themselves standing on the banks of a wide spanning lake. "I can't believe this used to be a city." She whispered to no one in particular not noticing the curious glances her and her father were getting from a group standing closer to the waters edge.

"Ah but I can assure you that it was; a city that is." A man with short brown hair and an eye patch said as he broke away from his group to greet the strangers. "Xander Harris." He introduced as he held out a hand to Jack.

Blinking Jack tore his eyes away from the calm lake to shake the offered hand. "Jack Carter and this is my daughter Zoe." He released the hand and noted that the man was younger than he looked.

Xander eyed them trying to place the names or faces but came up blank. "I don't recall seeing you at any of the other memorials. You lose family here?"

"Yeah, we didn't know until now. They just identified…." Zoe trailed off with a shiver. The water was so calm, peaceful, it was hard to imagine that the final resting place of hundreds maybe even thousands was just below the surface.

"Yeah, remains are still floating to the surface even after six years. They have yet to identify my parents and last I heard they had a back log of bones to try and I.D. It's going to take years for some families to get their closure." Xander told them honestly.

"I thought I hadn't heard from Joyce because she still wasn't talking to me. I never thought in a million years…." Jack trailed off and refocused on the water.

Xander froze. "Joyce? That wouldn't be Joyce Summers, would it?" It wasn't possible. Buffy would have told them if they had family out there. And if not her then surely Dawn.

Zoe nodded her head. "You knew Aunt Joyce?" She questioned. If he knew Aunt Joyce then he had to know Buffy and Dawn. "Do you know Buffy and Dawn? Are they here?"

"Hold that thought." Xander turned and headed back to his group at a quickened pace. He pulled the oldest member, a man with graying hair and glasses, to the side and began a animated conversation with him that included gestures in Jack and Zoe's direction. After a moment he returned to the newcomers. "Your Buffy and Dawn's Uncle? They never mentioned you."

Jack knew the older man was now staring at them and before he had a chance to speak a voice off to his right beat him to it.

"He isn't our Uncle, Xander. He's our father." Buffy Summers appeared from the path followed by her sister. "Hello Jack, it's been a long time."

Dawn sidled up to her sister. "I told you they'd show. You so owe me twenty bucks!" She grinned when her sister shot her a dirty look. "I'll just add it to your tab." Her attention then zeroed in on Zoe. "Goddess, you look like a mini Buffy! The world is ending for sure."

"Yes, too long." Jack reached out a hand and tucked a strand of honey blonde hair behind Buffy's ear. "You look so much like your mother." He whispered, thickly.

Buffy gave her father a watery smile. "You gonna stay for the ceremony?" She asked once the father-daughter moment passed.

"We want to pay our respects to Aunt Joyce." Zoe spoke up seeing that her father was fighting back tears. "And we were hoping that we could talk to you two afterwards? If that's okay?" She couldn't keep the hopefulness out of her voice.

"Wouldn't miss it." Dawn said with a grin as she grabbed her little sister by the arm and pulled her towards the already assembled group of Scoobies.

Xander was still in shock from Buffy's revelation. Their father? What about Hank? Why hadn't Buffy mentioned Jack before? Or that fact that she had another much younger sister? Too many questions without any answers. "Your father?" He managed to choke out. "Since when?" Open mouth insert foot.

Jack cleared his throat and quickly wiped his eyes. "Since always." He answered, honestly. "I just haven't been a very good one." It was clear that the Xander boy was a friend of his daughters and he was willing to bet the same was true for the entire group standing by the edge of the lake.

"Explanations are for later, Xander." Buffy's voice held no room for argument. "Now is for the ones we lost." She slipped her hand into Jack's and lead him to the group of Scoobies. Now was the time to remember. There'd be time later for everything else.


End file.
